Implementing the 90-second rule helps me calm my anxiety when I get caught up in highly charged emotional situations, especially emotional triggers.
When I was younger, I would often let a small, seemingly insignificant comment or event ruin entire days because I could not break free from the emotions of them.
A classmate might have said something that hurt or angered me. Instead of feeling the emotions and then letting it go and moving on, I would continue immersing myself within the emotion for hours and sometimes days after the event. Doing this causes much unnecessary suffering, and it is also detrimental to our health.
Even in my teen and early adult years, I would continuously let smaller things trigger me into hours of needless emotional suffering.
After years of observing my thoughts, attending therapy, and experimenting with different techniques, I began calming myself down.
Then, I discovered the 90-second rule.
I use this simple method to diffuse emotional moments that, in the past, would have left me unhinged for long periods.
Let me start by saying emotional moments aren’t a bad thing.
Feeling your emotions are what gets them out.
But continually choosing your same “highly charged” emotions (anger, grief, sadness, panic, etc.), especially over long periods, can cause all sorts of issues.
Some studies show these emotions can even lead to heart failure and other long term ailments.
So getting emotions out in an appropriate manner is essential to becoming mentally healthier.
EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS AND THEIR ROLE IN ANXIETY
What I am referring to are emotional triggers that seem to pop up over and over. These triggers can stem from just about anything: childhood beliefs ingrained in the subconscious mind, or an event that you haven’t fully processed. Emotional triggers can cause us to repeat the same intense emotional responses. These responses can leave us feeling drained, exhausted, and joy-less.
Emotional triggers can cause a great deal of anxiety when they are replayed over and over in your head.
One such example of an emotional trigger is going through a difficult breakup with a lover.
Let’s say you and said lover had a favorite song. It was “your” song, and every time you hear that song come on the radio after the breakup, you are instantly triggered. This trigger will feel like an intense emotion. Usually the emotion will be sadness, anger, loneliness, or grief, accompanied by a “pit in your stomach” feeling.
Triggers are an automatic emotional response.
You don’t seem to have control over them.
Over time, you can learn how to observe your triggers and change your response.
Part of what I am teaching in this article refers to that observing and changing your response.
THE AMYGDALA AND ITS ROLE WITH EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS
One of the books that teach about the amygdala and anxiety is ‘Rewire Your Anxious Brain’ by Catherine M. Pittman, Ph.D., and Elizabeth M. Karle, MLIS. This insightful book examines the differences between anxiety based in the amygdala (triggers & emotions) and anxiety based in the cortex (overthinking).
Think of the amygdala as a protector.
It’s trying to protect you from any potential danger that might be lingering. However, in many cases, the amygdala’s assumption that you need to be protected from a potential danger is incorrect.
The human amygdala seems to be predisposed to respond to certain stimuli as potentially dangerous: snakes, spiders, heights, and angry facial expressions are just a few. Yet, children are rarely scared of bikes, basketballs, or video game controllers. Over thousands of years of evolution, the human amygdala has been “programmed” to fear insects and snakes because it served in survival at some point.
CHANGING AMYGDALA BASED FEARS
Fear that is programmed into the amygdala can be changed.
You do not have to be a prisoner of your past emotional experiences that reside within the amygdala.
Conversely, many objects and situations aren’t naturally feared by the amygdala, meaning they weren’t programmed into the amygdala at birth. Instead, the amygdala learns to fear them as a direct result of life experience.
For example, a child doesn’t naturally fear flames. Still, if a flame burns that child, they will naturally begin to fear anything associated with fire: candles, lighters, sparklers, bonfires, etc. That is the amygdala at work. But since he amygdala can be “reprogrammed,” the child can, over time, learn not to fear certain stimuli.
The amygdala forms emotional memories, but not in the way that you may think of standard memories.
The amygdala will form an emotional memory of an experience and attach it to such as a smell or an object, yet have no awareness of it.
Meaning, you might fear that object or smell without any conscious memory to back it up. Many people who have been in a serious car accident become fearful of sitting in the same seat in the car when the accident occurred.
For example, suppose you were sitting in the backseat behind the passenger seat during a serious accident. In that case, you may develop a sense of dread anytime you sit in that exact seat in another car, without fully understanding why. That is the emotional memory of the amygdala at work.
REDUCING AMYGDALA BASED ANXIETY
EXERCISE
Exercise helps reduce activation of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), aka the fight, flight, or freeze response. Regular exercise lessens the effects of the SNS, such as decreasing its impact on heart rate and blood pressure. Aerobic exercise, specifically, has been shown in studies to reduce anxiety.
Exercise decreases muscle tension for up to an hour and a half and anxiety for up to four to six hours after a twenty-minute session. When you put into perspective that a mere 20 minutes of exercise can effectively reduce muscle tension and anxiety for hours afterward, the rewards become clear.
SLEEP
Sleep is another big one. Poor sleep and lack of sleep have detrimental effects on the human brain. Studies have shown that people who don’t get enough sleep or sleep poorly (sleep apnea) have trouble with memories, difficulties concentrating, and poorer health. Getting to bed and waking up at the same time is crucial in developing a healthy sleeping pattern. Also, monitoring your REM sleep is essential, as it helps with memory and replenishing neurotransmitters. Researchers have found that more REM sleep is associated with lower reactivity in the amygdala. So practicing good sleeping habits is crucial.
DEEP BREATHING
Deep breathing is another way to calm down the amygdala. Using deep breathing techniques can be felt quickly, which makes it an effective way to calm amygdala-based anxiety. There are many different types of deep breathing that you can do but start with these three techniques. In this Harvard article, they recommend abdominal breathing. Try a few different methods out and see which works best for you.
THE FIGHT FLIGHT OR FREEZE RESPONSE
The amygdala is responsible for activating what is known as the fight, flight, or freeze response.
During this response, there’s an activation of motor systems, an increase in neurotransmitters’ levels, energization of the sympathetic nervous system, and a release of chemicals such as cortisol and adrenaline into the bloodstream.
Your body will undergo immediate changes such as increased heart rate, tensing of muscles, and dilated pupils. You may start to tremble and feel sweaty palms, heart-pounding, and bowel issues.
Activating the fight, flight, or freeze response is a primary role of the amygdala.
The amygdala’s “language” is based on association.
But what does this mean, exactly?
Think of a little child. That child walks into a room and sees a teddy bear that frightens him or her. Now, the teddy bear itself is not threatening, but every time that child sees any teddy bear, they become filled with fright. That is the amygdala associating that teddy bears with a fearful emotion and activating the fight, flight, or freeze response in that child.
Emotional triggers begin to develop around these associations.
Whenever you come in contact with any stimuli associated with an emotional response in your amygdala, you will then become triggered. And after becoming triggered, you will want to avoid those specific stimuli to avoid feeling any negative or fear-based emotions. Avoidance can cause problems because as you grow older, the number of stimuli will also grow, and if you haven’t managed them properly, you will be one overly-anxious person (trust me, I know!).
THE AMYGDALA, TRIGGERS, AND THE 90-SECOND RULE
Now that you are familiar with what the amygdala is and how it functions, as well as what emotional triggers are and their significance in creating anxiety, let’s focus on the 90-second rule.
What is the 90-second rule?
This is a term coined by Harvard brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor. She discovered that when a person has an emotional reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that occurs. Any emotional response beyond that 90-seconds is the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.
What does this mean?
According to Taylor’s observation, from a neurological standpoint, we can choose moment by moment how we want to be in our environment.
This is powerful stuff.
Especially for those who suffer from anxiety.
EXAMPLES
You’re at lunch with a few family members, and a touchy subject comes up in conversation. One of your family members says something rude and inappropriate, and feelings of anger instantly overcome you. The fight, flight, or freeze response is now being triggered. From a purely neurological standpoint, your brain’s chemical reaction causing the anger, will be flushed out within 90 seconds. Knowing this, you can choose not to get caught up in the emotion. You will then chemically fall back to your state of being previous to the anger.
When interviewed by Bryan E. Robinson Ph.D., Taylor made the following statement regarding the 90-second rule:
“Essentially, when you look at cells in the circuitry of the brain, every reactivity is simply a group of cells performing their function. From the moment you have the thought that there’s a threat, and that circuit of fear gets triggered, it will stimulate the emotional circuitry related to it, which is the fight-or-flight reaction. That will trigger a physiological dumpage of usually norepinephrine or anger into the bloodstream. It will flush through you and flush out of you in less than 90 seconds. So from the moment you think the thought that triggers that whole cascade of events to the chemical flushing out of you takes less than 90 seconds.”
HOW TO IMPLEMENT THE 90-SECOND RULE
Because emotional triggers can cause the same circuitry in the brain to activate over and over by us thinking the same thought and experiencing the same emotion, the 90-second rule becomes essential in hindering that repetitive circuitry.
But how do you let the 90 seconds pass without engaging the emotions?
Awareness.
You need to be persistent in your awareness and observation of your thoughts and emotions.
If you continually lack awareness, you will inevitably get lost in subconscious thoughts, react instead of respond, and become susceptible to engaging emotions longer than needed.
Awareness also creates a sense of self-control. If you’re fully aware of your emotional state of being, you’ll be less likely to fall down the rabbit hole of clinging to strong emotions for long periods even when you are triggered.
Practicing mindfulness can help strengthen your awareness muscle.
Set aside a week and practice the art of becoming more aware of your emotions. Then, jot down moments when you seem to get caught up in a strong emotion. Note the cause of the trigger, and how long you experienced said emotion. Over a few days, you’ll begin spotting patterns. Once you spot these patterns, they are much easier to change.
Now, armed with this new information, you can focus your awareness on those emotional triggers and purposely using the 90-second rule to wait out the strong emotion until it chemically leaves your system.
Try focusing on your breath during this time. This will distract you from the thoughts surrounding the emotion that may cause you to leap back into it.
After a while, you can train yourself to spot the trigger and respond appropriately without getting caught up in the emotion.
IN REVIEW
The 90-second rule is another useful tool for your mental health tool box.
Although relatively new, the 90-second rule can be utilized along with other techniques, such as mindfulness, to reduce getting caught up in stronger emotions such as anger or anxiety for long periods.
If you can keep the 90-second rule in the back of your mind, you’ll benefit immediately.
Situations, people, or events that typically would set you off won’t have as powerful a grip on you anymore.
You’ll now understand that if you can wait out the 90 seconds, you’ll be okay.
Understanding emotional triggers, the amygdala’s role, and maintaining constant emotional awareness can make an enormous difference in minimizing any long-term anxiety.
Latest posts by Brad Coreno (see all)
- 8 Proven Tips To Improve Your Communication Skills - April 29, 2022
- 5 Proven Ways To Manage Work-Related Anxiety - April 3, 2022
- 10 Steps To Develop A Growth Mindset - March 13, 2022