Communication skills are one of the cornerstone skills of life.
No matter what profession, types of relationships, or where you live, developing and honing your communication skills will only serve you well.
No matter if it’s verbal, non-verbal, or written, communication skills are everywhere in our lives.
Often we pay little attention to our communication skills. Over a period of time, we may develop bad habits and fall back on unhealthy communication patterns. This article will help you focus on communication skills essential in almost any area of life.
Remember that communication skills can set you apart from the competition and give you an advantage in job interviews, wooing a significant other, and developing key relationships throughout your life. No matter what your age or background is, communication is essential.
Yet many people lack the basic skills needed to efficiently and effectively communicate.
So how can you improve your communication skills?
Here are some proven tips:
1. GET TO KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES
Improving communication skills starts with understanding where you’re currently at right now. If you don’t know your communication weaknesses, how can you improve on them? And how can you use your strengths to combat your weaknesses?
Weaknesses could be poor listening skills, talking too fast or too slow, mumbling, having no direction with conversation and rambling, and many other areas.
In order to discover your weaknesses (assuming you don’t already know them), don’t be afraid to ask others for feedback on your communication skills. You might discover areas you might otherwise overlook if you solicit feedback regularly.
It’s also important to look for both verbal and non-verbal feedback. If someone acts disinterested or confused, respond accordingly.
Understanding and improving your weaknesses is the first step in building a core foundation of strong communication skills.
2. IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
I wrote an article years ago when I first started Upplifter about how listening can be a superpower.
The truth is that most highly successful people, no matter what the industry or area of life, are great listeners. They’ve learned to mindfully listen and take in information without being triggered, biased, or defensive. And they tend to listen carefully and let the other person finish before talking. Learning how to pay attention to the other person without interrupting is a skill in and of itself and can elevate your communication skill set.
Asking questions and repeating what the other person said is also a huge part of becoming a good listener. There’s an instinct to react during a conversation instead of carefully taking in the other person’s information respectfully and responding appropriately. Asking questions to clarify any ambiguity also helps in this area.
You should listen more than you talk.
As this Harvard article points out, becoming an active listener plays a prominent role in improving our communication skills.
Active listening aims to hear the entire message of what someone is saying, not just the words using both verbal and non-verbal communication.
To become an active listener, try to the following:
- Give the speaker your complete and undivided attention.
- Clear your mind of judgments, distractions, and counter-arguments.
- Avoid the urge to interrupt with your own thoughts.
- Show positive and open body language to keep focused and to show the speaker that you are genuinely listening.
- Paraphrase or rephrase what you just heard to make sure you clearly understand.
- Ask open-ended questions to get further detailed information.
3. YOU NEED TO OVER-COMMUNICATE TO COMMUNICATE
During conversations, we are often prone to overestimating what our audience understands and what they will catch on to. Many people make the mistake of not communicating enough when in fact, they should be doing the polar opposite.
A famous study was done in 1990 by a graduate student at Stanford University referred to as the “tappers and the listeners” study.
As Deep Patel writes:
“One set of participants was asked to tap the melody of 120 famous songs. The other participants were asked to guess what song was being tapped. Tappers estimated that 50 percent of the songs tapped would be correctly identified. In reality, only 2.5 percent of songs were correctly identified. This study shows that it is important to communicate clearly, and to over-communicate when sharing new ideas. As this study indicates, it is likely that the audience will fail to absorb as much as you expect.”
So when in doubt, over-communicate (but not with unnecessary fluff) to your audience and make sure they understand the content and context of what you are talking about. But do it in a concise and direct manner.
4. LEARN THE BASICS OF NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Non-verbal communication is critical because it allows you to understand what others and yourself might be conveying beyond the spoken word. Body language, tone of voice, eye contact, and facial expressions are all things to look for when analyzing non-verbal communication. What someone is saying and what someone is doing may often be conveying different things, but you won’t pick up on that unless you are honed in on non-verbal communication skills.
In this Entrepreneurs.com article, “One study found that nonverbal communication accounted for 55 percent of how an audience perceived a presenter. That means that the majority of what you say is communicated not through words, but through physical cues.”
Non-verbal communication, as shown by the study, accounts for a large piece of the communication puzzle. If you are oblivious to how your non-verbal cues come off to others, then there’s an almost certain likelihood that you’ll be misunderstood or even not trusted.
Another study showed that non-verbal cues can have between 65 and 93 percent more impact than the spoken word. An astounding percentage range showing the importance of non-verbal communication.
Conflicting verbal and non-verbal cues can cause confusion. Remember that your verbal and non-verbal cues must always reflect each other.
5. GET RID OF UNNECESSARY CONVERSATION FILLERS
You might be watching a tv interview or a podcast, and after a few minutes, the guest will answer a question and then pause and say, “Umm” or “Uhh” or “Ahh.” These are called conversation fillers, and they are a no-no if you want to be taken seriously. They also do very little to enhance or improve your communication skills.
Cutting unnecessary conversation fillers out will help you appear more confident and persuasive.
One way to do this is to start tracking when you say these types of fillers. Use this as a guide to begin cutting them out of your speech. It may take some practice, but you will begin to sound crisper over time.
Sometimes improving non-verbal cues can help with this process. People use those fillers because they feel the silences between thoughts may appear awkward to others when in reality, they often appear more awkward to you than they do your audience.
Try being more aware of your unnecessary conversation fillers and adjust along the way.
6. UNDERSTAND YOUR AUDIENCE
Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, teaching, sales, or running a business, understanding your audience is key to success.
If you do not understand your audience, you will not be able to fully engage, inspire, and educate them to your best ability. It’s like putting a blindfold on and trying to shoot a three-pointer in basketball. Sure, you could hit the shot, but there’s a strong and likely possibility that you will miss and miss badly.
Sticking with the sports analogy, imagine you’re competing in a championship basketball game. You are the head coach, and the winner takes all the marbles. Then imagine that you did no scouting of the other team; you don’t know their names, heights, statistical averages, never watched any film of them, and have no idea what you’re up against.
Now the other team who is facing you has done just the opposite. They have scouted you, know all of your players’ strengths and weaknesses, and have game-planned for them.
Who do you think has the better shot of winning that game?
Of course, the team that did their homework.
This is no different with communication skills. You need to know your audience, especially related to business, sales, marketing, romantic relationships, and friendships. Would you take your date to a movie you know she would hate? And you would you try selling a product to a customer that has no need for it?
The best advice for understanding your audience is to tailor your message to that specific audience or person.
Suppose you’re giving a speech to a larger audience. In that case, you want to prepare ahead of time. This type of prep work involves researching the topic and your audience, and any potential questions that could arise.
7. BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC
Another potential pitfall of communication is not being specific while running on too long.
Sometimes we tend to mumble or bounce around on an idea instead of being direct and to the point. Doing this can potentially lose our audience or the person we are talking to since they may be confused. Keeping communication simple, clear, and concise goes a long way in making it effective.
If you are speaking to a larger audience, there is actually an acronym called “BRIEF” that stands for Background, Reason, Information, End, Follow Up. This acronym helps keep your communication clear and concise and can be used for both written and verbal communication.
The key ingredient to being persuasive and influential via communication is bringing clarity to the audience or person you are talking to. Avoid any flowery language or fillers and unnecessary words. Be direct, and be specific.
8. USE THE 7 C’s OF COMMUNICATION
You may have heard about the 7 C’s of communication, as they are a cornerstone in communication skills. Below are each of the seven with a brief description.
Clear: Make your message as straightforward as possible to the recipient. One way of doing this is by asking yourself what the purpose of your communication is before talking to them.
Concise: As stated above, your message should be brief and to the point. There is no need to elongate the message or drag out your communication when you don’t have to. Get to the point, and don’t waste extra time with fluff or flowery language.
Concrete: Ensure that your message has critical details and facts that allow you to convey your main point. But make sure you don’t say anything that may deter from your main message.
Correct: Always fact-check and ensure that what you’re communicating is accurate. Wrong or bad information doesn’t help your audience, nor does it help your reputation.
Coherent: The first question you should ask yourself: does my message make any sense? Is it logical and coherent? Does everything sync together? Make sure you check and double-check to see that all of your points are relevant and that everything is consistent with your message.
Complete: Your message is only complete when all pertinent information is included in an understandable way, and there is a clear call to action. Ask yourself: does my audience know what to do? Do they know what I am asking from them?
Courteous: Kindness can go a long way in this life. Always ensure that your communication is open, honest, and friendly regardless of the message. Try being empathetic and avoiding passive-aggressive tones.
IN REVIEW
Communication skills are one of the most essential skill sets you will ever learn. Having high-quality non-verbal and verbal communication skills can take you a long way in many areas of life. It’s critical that you self-evaluate and continually hone your skills over time. Some skills will come more naturally than others, and some of you may have natural communication skills while others may struggle. No matter your circumstance, you can always improve and build up your communication skills. ,
If you have any questions or would like a free mindset coaching consultation – contact me at brad@upplifter.com.
Although we strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health-related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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