Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) affects approximately 15 million people in America.
According to the Anxiety And Depression Association Of America, Social Anxiety Disorder is an “ intense anxiety or fear of being judged, negatively evaluated, or rejected in a social or performance situation.”
People who experience social anxiety disorder may worry about appearing visibly anxious. They may also worry about being viewed as awkward, dull, or stupid. Because of this, they may avoid social situations.
When a social situation is unavoidable, people who have social anxiety disorder may experience a tremendous amount of distress and anxiety. This distress may include many physical symptoms. These can be nausea, rapid heart rate, sweating, and even full panic attacks. These people often feel powerless against their anxiety, although they recognize its excesses.
Social anxiety can have a profoundly negative effect on the lives it impacts. For example, people who suffer from it may decline a new job opportunity if it includes interaction with people consistently. They may pass on going out with friends in a social situation because of the fear of looking anxious in front of them, or even avoiding dating or relationships because of the potential social interaction involved.
The most striking statistic about a social anxiety disorder is that less than 5% of people diagnosed seek treatment in the year following the onset of the disorder. More than one-third of people report symptoms for up to ten years before seeking help.
MY EXPERIENCE WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY
Social anxiety can also affect those who are not diagnosed with SAD.
I’m sure many of you reading this have experienced some form of social anxiety at one time or another in your personal or professional life.
I have never been diagnosed with SAD and don’t think my symptoms are severe or prevalent enough to warrant such a diagnosis. Still, I have suffered from bouts of social anxiety throughout my lifetime. Going through social anxiety bouts heightened my awareness of the subject and gave me a greater appreciation for those who experience it daily.
One of my earliest memories of experiencing social anxiety was playing freshman basketball at my high school. I would get physically ill before each practice, not wanting to “screw up” or look bad in front of my fellow teammates or the coaches. My big brother was a basketball star at a neighboring high school years earlier but was still well known in the area. My coach had played against my brother and spoke highly of him. But unbeknownst to him, I often felt pressure to perform like my brother, even though I hardly played during games. I began feeling like a failure, like I couldn’t live up to my expectations and the anxiety that came along with it was unbearable at times.
MAKING IT THROUGH
By the end of the season, we had won the league championship, but I was mentally, emotionally, and physically worn out. At the time, I hadn’t realized that what I experienced was a form of social anxiety since being “seen” as a failure or less than in front of my teammates was terrifying to me. But that season gave me a greater understanding of the power of social anxiety.
Another area I’ve experienced social anxiety is public speaking. This is usually the number one thing people fear, even ahead of various illnesses. Public speaking can occur at work or even in our private lives. We may have to give a speech at a wedding or a funeral or talk in front of our extended family. All of this, for some, can cause an increased amount of anxiety.
WAYS TO EFFECTIVELY MANAGE SOCIAL ANXIETY
USE SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL COPING SKILLS
Social coping is identifying coping skills that could be improved on and then working on them to help cope with the thoughts and emotions prevalent in social anxiety disorder.
Emotional coping is learning to manage the fears and negative thoughts that arise because of social anxiety disorder.
BECOME MORE ASSERTIVE
Lack of assertiveness is an area that many people with SAD struggle to overcome. It can be frightening for many with SAD to confront people in their lives with their real thoughts and feelings. Learning how to say no in a firm yet kind way is one of the significant steps in becoming more assertive. It can be tough to say no, especially to co-workers, significant others, and family and friends. Still, in doing so, you will begin to set healthy boundaries that will assist in better managing your social anxiety.
BE OPEN ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL ANXIETY
Although the closest people in your life may already have an idea of your social anxiety, it can be liberating and beneficial to share your struggles with them. Letting them know may give you a sense of relief. It will also educate those people on your struggles and the severe symptoms and effects of SAD.
You may be surprised at the response you receive from those around you. And doing this may also give those people the green light to share their struggles with social anxiety. You never know what someone else is going through, and sharing your experience is one way to disarm another person’s suffering, as well as your own.
CHANGE YOUR FOCUS
Changing or shifting your focus can work wonders when it comes to managing SAD. Often, we get caught up in ourselves and the anxiety brewing within us; instead, try focusing on the task at hand, whatever that may be. Whether you are sending out a work email, talking to a friend, or preparing dinner, try to focus on it more intently. If this doesn’t seem to work, focus on neutral factors like the colors, noises, textures, smells, and tastes.
IMPROVE BOTH VERBAL AND NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
Nonverbal communication makes a difference. Many people who have SAD tend to have a “closed off” stance, which can be tense. How you carry yourself can make a difference in how you feel since tensing up usually makes us feel more restricted. Instead, try a more relaxed posture with eye contact and your hands at your sides.
Verbally, learn how to start conversations and keep them going so that you don’t feel awkward or forced into dialogue. Learning how to listen intently and pay attention to others as they speak is another huge aspect of verbal communication. When you first join a conversation, listen for a little while to understand what is being discussed before commenting. Learning appropriate verbal communication skills can help in these social settings.
AVOID UNHEALTHY COPING STRATEGIES
We all have our vices. Some of those vices can be harmful and toxic. And it’s important to remember that unhealthy coping strategies can lead to an increase in anxiety symptoms and make your social anxiety worse. Whether it be excessive alcohol consumption or drug use, these unhealthy coping strategies can make it more difficult to manage social anxiety.
According to Medical News Today, “Past research has shown that heavy drinking eventually circles back to bad moods, heightened anxiety, and other related symptoms, such as disrupted sleep patterns. According to the ADAA, approximately 20% of individuals with social anxiety also have alcohol use disorder. Studies have shown that these findings apply to adults and adolescents with social anxiety.”
CONFRONT YOUR FEARS
Because so many people who experience social anxiety tend to avoid social situations, the perceived fear that social anxiety brings only gets magnified. These fears usually include making a mishap or mistake when out in a social situation, leading to all sorts of negative consequences. Of course, these negative consequences are usually blown out of proportion, but try telling that to the person experiencing them.
One way to help overcome those perceived fears is to put yourself in more social situations where mishaps could happen. Some mental health professionals refer to this as exposure therapy. After experiencing a few social mishaps, you will eventually learn that the negative long-term consequences your social anxiety made you obsess over very rarely occur.
EXERCISE & PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE THERAPY
Getting out and moving our bodies is essential for almost every aspect of our health. Certain physical activities have been shown to help reduce anxiety. Yoga and jogging are two activities that research has shown to help improve the symptoms of anxiety. Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a technique that can help with social anxiety as well.
As defined by WebMD, Progressive Muscle Relaxation is “a deep relaxation technique that has been effectively used to control stress and anxiety, relieve insomnia, and reduce symptoms of certain types of chronic pain. Progressive muscle relaxation is based upon the simple practice of tensing or tightening, one muscle group at a time, followed by a relaxation phase with the release of the tension. Doctors have used progressive muscle relaxation in combination with standard treatments for symptom relief in several conditions, including headaches, cancer pain, high blood pressure, and digestive disturbances.”
WORK ON FACING UNCERTAINTY AND DISCOMFORT
Whenever anxiety arises, uncertainty and discomfort will surely follow. No matter how healthy the anxiety coping mechanisms are in place, there will always be some level of uncertainty and discomfort. Learning how to accept this fact will make your life easier and give you realistic expectations about managing your anxiety.
One form of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has been gaining steam in treating anxiety disorders. ACT is a form of talk therapy that focuses on how we use our words to fight against whatever is going on in our heads. Some may find ACT to be helpful when managing social anxiety.
REFRAME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS (ANXIETY DOESN’T REFLECT REALITY)
Having a general understanding of the types of anxieties and stresses common amongst human beings is another step in managing social anxiety. Often we take a common situation and blow it out of proportion with our negative thoughts. By reframing negative thoughts, you can take a healthier perspective on whatever stressors we are facing. By doing this, you will get a more precise and more accurate measure of the situation without the cloudiness of anxiety. It’s important to remember that anxiety does not reflect reality.
PRACTICE DEEP BREATHING
Deep breathing is suitable for all areas of life. Implementing healthy and proven deep breathing techniques can alleviate some of the pain and suffering that anxiety causes. It naturally calms down our sympathetic nervous system, responsible for the fight, flight, or freeze response.
When you practice deep breathing, it sends a message to your brain, telling it to calm down and relax. The brain then sends the same message to your body, telling it to calm down and relax.
Stress responses such as increased heart rate, fast breathing, and high blood pressure all decrease as you practice deep breathing.
Learning breathing techniques that suit your individual needs can help you in many situations. I go into detail on deep breathing techniques you can use to calm anxiety.
PREPARE AND PLAN (IN SMALL STEPS)
Planning for social situations can help you plot out your stress response beforehand. Go over a list of potential coping techniques that you can implement once you arrive. For example, if you are giving a public speech, try preparing and planning by speaking in front of your family members or friends for practice. Or, if you’re going out on a date and you’re afraid you may not have anything in common to discuss, try doing a bit of research on a few trending news topics or things you find interesting that you could share. Remember that taking small steps in your planning makes it simple. Do not overwhelm yourself.
IN REVIEW
Social anxiety is a big part of many people’s daily lives. Understanding the basics of what it is and how to manage it can alleviate some of the suffering that often accompanies SAD. Do your due diligence and research, and if you are severely struggling, seek help with a mental health professional. Nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over.
Although we strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health-related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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