Depression is a word that gets thrown a run quite a bit these days.
Many people claim to have been depressed at some point in their lives. Some say they’ve been depressed for years and even decades. Others say it came and went. But one thing is for sure; if you have ever experienced depression for any period, you understand how traumatic it can be.
Depression can take a vibrant, happy, healthy person and turn them into a beaten-down shell of themselves; it can take a fearless warrior and turn them into a whimpering prisoner.
The sheer thought of just getting out of bed, when depressed, can be enough to keep you hanging tightly to the sheets.
Any activity that requires forethought or energy can seem like a treacherous emotional hike up a ten thousand foot mountain.
Depression, also known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, is a common but serious mood disorder that causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working.
So to be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks.
SUMMER OF 2017 – MY JOURNEY THROUGH DEPRESSION
During this particular summer, I experienced the worst and longest depression of my entire life. The memory of that period of my life is blurry, dark, and dampened. Having gone through it for more than four months, it took a tremendous toll on my mental health. The lessons I learned were invaluable for my personal growth in all three aspects; emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Depression rocked me to my core that summer and robbed me of my happiness. I was no longer the happy, vibrant, go with the flow person I was before the depression hit me. It seemed like I was morphing into a shell of myself, merely existing, not fully living.
I had difficulty just getting up every morning and facing my somber reality. Therefore, this was the toughest mental and emotional challenge I had ever encountered to that point in my life. That crazy roller coaster ride is one I’ll never soon forget. Through it all, I had four mainstays that kept me going, kept me sane. I explain the four mainstays below and how they can help you through a time of depression.
FRIENDS AND FAMILY – THE SUPPORT
For most of my early life, taking people for granted was easy for me. When the depression of that summer began to hit me, I was thrown into a state of being that forced me to review every aspect of my then thirty-four-year-old life.
Living life unconsciously, unaware of your surroundings, and the people who love and care about you can be addicting. Because of this auto-pilot lifestyle, I would often suffer in silence when I was going through a rough patch. And when I reached out, I took the people who supported me for granted.
I did not consider how fortunate I was to have such beautiful people in my life.
Gratitude is a biggie, folks.
During the summer of 2017, when I was struggling mightily, I began to ask for guidance. I was a whirlwind of messy and downtrodden thoughts and emotions. Because of this, I needed opinions, ears to listen and people to lean on during those dark days. I cannot tell you the amount of family and friends that supported me through that depression. Their support, coupled with my willingness to emerge a stronger person, made that summer arguably the most significant learning experience of my life to that point.
Because of the support, I was able to get the pain off my chest and out into the open. My friends and family were stepping up in a big way for me. Day after day, I would receive texts, calls, and even visits.
“How are you holding up?”
“Would you like me to stop over?”
“How’s your day been going?”
Seeing messages like the ones above pop up on my phone were game-changers. Often it was the one positive piece of energy I needed to get through the day. If you’re struggling with depression – please, if you can, reach out to the people in your life who love and care about you. Do not be afraid to turn to them for comfort or an open ear. They can help lift you on days you can’t seem to lift yourself. And they can also give you helpful advice, or possibly point you in a direction you hadn’t considered previously.
Finding a support group, people in your life who you trust, during a significant bout of depression can be the critical missing component in finding your peace of mind.
JOURNALING – THE OUTLET
One of the most challenging aspects of living with depression is having a world of hurt, pain, and sadness that is seemingly trapped inside of us. These feelings can leave our minds spinning with hopelessness. Getting these thoughts, feelings, and emotions out can be an exercise in freedom. The act of releasing those depressed states of mind can help us from becoming attached to them.
So this begs the question – how do I get them out?
There are many answers to this question that would suffice.
I have found that journaling is an easy, efficient way to release these thoughts and emotions.
Because of its very nature, journaling gives us an opportunity for self-reflection. When you journal your thoughts onto paper (or a computer/phone screen), you now have the chance to assess them. It’s difficult to fully assess a thought when it’s floating aimlessly in your head. But get that thought onto paper, and a magical thing happens; the thought becomes powerless. You now can see it for what it is – just a fleeting thought.
The act of releasing these thoughts and emotions can also play a role in becoming more mindful. Therefore, you can be aware of the thoughts that tend to trigger negative emotions that send you deeper into depression. You also will feel a level of freedom after writing your thoughts and emotions down. Getting them out feels like someone reached into your mind, pulled out the negativity, and slapped it into a piece of paper. So, there’s a feeling of liberation that ensues. Lastly, journaling is personal and unique – everyone journals at different times about different things.
There is no “golden rule” of journaling, you can structure your journaling any which way you desire.
MIXING UP HABITS AND ROUTINES – THE CHANGE
Have you ever noticed how stale life can become at times?
Even people who have never battled depression (at least long term) will have moments in their lives that are stagnant. Times like these can lead to rumination, settling for less than your worth, and making decisions out of fear instead of a growth mindset. When I was going through my summer depression, I was the same repetitive person every single day. I woke up, overthought, obsessed, and bathed in unhealthy sulking about my life.
Taking control of my life was not even in my galaxy of thoughts during this time.
Those thoughts and the intense emotions attached to them lead me to feelings of failure about aspects of my life. But reflecting on it all now, those feelings were simply byproducts of my depressed state of being. They weren’t real, they were just thoughts.
I needed to change them, so I took a closer look at my daily habits and routines.
It was at this time I decided to start hiking. I was never much of an outdoorsy type of person growing up. Of course, I enjoyed playing sports, having bonfires, and sitting by the lake with my friends. I certainly had an affinity for nature, but I never explored that affinity much as a kid. That is until my depression pushed me to the brink of darkness. So, whenever I was working from home and during lunch, I’d toss on my t-shirt and shorts and drive to a nearby park. The park had a scenic trail that leads past a marshy area and straight to Lake Erie. I would hike this trail multiple times every single week for months; it became my home away from home.
The act of hiking and being out in nature created a feeling of peace and comfort for me.
I had found a healthy habit to pursue. But this was just the start. I also began journaling every single day. Calling friends and family became the norm. I would mix it up and go to different coffee shops in the surrounding cities for work. I smiled more for no reason. Mindfulness became a trend. And I pursued more of my passions.
Changing my routines made a big difference in my state of being. By mixing up my routines, I felt alive again. Therefore, my depression began to wean a bit.
The stranglehold it had over me wasn’t as awful as it had been those first few months. I was now playing with positivity instead of negativity. The impact of this was immediately felt and thrust me forward on days I could hardly get up.
DIRECTING ENERGY TOWARD YOUR PASSIONS – THE MOTIVATION
Writing is my ultimate passion.
I knew way back in high school and college that I enjoyed the art of writing. And this could be any writing; poems, books, screenplays, blogs, you name it. Because I had such a passion for writing, I used it as a means to an end during my depression. I “wrote to cope,” as I say. The writing was the escape I needed to focus my energy and attention on something worthwhile and positive instead of the dreariness that has encompassed me. I began working on a new writing project that summer. Those writings were the beginning of what would eventually become Upplifter.
The writing was hugely influential in keeping me in a mindful state of being.
Those of you who are currently struggling with depression: What are you passionate about in your life? What lights a fire inside of you?
Depression can make any activity seem like an impossible mountain to climb. Being in a depressed state of being can feel like your entire mindset is foggy and ripped of positive energy. The struggle many depressed people face isn’t just a lack of motivation – it’s a chemical imbalance. It’s a situation that came into their lives and changed it forever, without warning, thrusting them into the darkness.
Conversely, passions are like momentum building blocks. Passions, even tiny ones, can slowly chip away at the negative fears, thoughts, and emotions that surround the depressed person.
In other words, use your passions as the fuel to perform positive activities (writing, reading, playing sports, exercising, career and education pursuits, playing or listening to music, etc.). Doing this will, in turn, create more healthy emotions (joy, gratitude, happiness, laughter, etc.). And healthy emotions can play a significant role in loosening depression’s tight grip on your reality.
I used my passion for writing to help give me the hope I needed to get through that terrible bout of depression.
IN REVIEW
First off, depression is a serious mental health condition. It can lead to all sorts of unhealthy and destructive behaviors, so please always consider consulting with a professional when dealing with depression.
As for the advice above, those are four items that helped me through that summer. Falling back on family and friends for support, journaling as an outlet, mixing up habits and routines for a change, and using passions as a motivator and fuel to recharge can all play a significant role in leading you through your depression.
If you have any questions or would like a free mindset coaching consultation – contact me at brad@upplifter.com!
Although we strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior-to making any medical or health-related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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